The Plant-Based Milk Alternative You Are, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

There was once a time when you went to the grocery store and had only one milk to choose from. But, in this day and age, it seems just about anything can be milked — be it almonds, coconuts, hemp seeds, oats, and even potatoes. Then, for every alternative available, there is also an endless array of brand names and varieties to pick from — from barista editions to non-fat and from vanilla to unsweetened. It's all a bit bewildering. When most of us envision the future, we picture flying, emission-free cars and vertical green cities. Instead, the world is (literally) burning. But, at least we have our oat milk lattes.

All dystopian jokes aside, alternative milks are just one representation of our advancement as a species. While we might not need quite so many of them, it is one of the few arenas of consumption that have become increasingly more environmentally friendly. Although no plant-based milk is perfect, nor is any plant-based milk more or less sustainable than the other, it can be difficult to choose which one to go with when you're placing your coffee order. Fortunately, with your zodiac sign, you won't have to think too hard. Keep reading to find out which plant-based milk alternative you'd be, based on your zodiac.

It makes sense that Aries is the first sign of the zodiac because people born under this sign seem to prefer to be first in everything else too. These signs are notoriously competitive, and they're not the people you want to go up against. Oddly, even though they might come before the rest of the zodiac signs on the calendar, they're actually more like everyone else's younger siblings. Aries don't have any signs before them to inherit life lessons from, and therefore it's believed that they come into the world with the least wisdom. In turn, Aries are hot-headed, and they've been known to throw a temper tantrum or two. They're also very high energy and have a tendency to think after they jump.

Now, none of that is to say these signs are bad people. Aries are generous, courageous, honest, and driven. But, unfortunately, a lot of that tends to get superseded by their competitiveness. That's why, if these signs were any of the plant-based milk alternatives on the menu, they'd be one of the many brands of almond milk. Even with all the ever-growing options on the market, almond milk always seems to come out on top as the most popular plant-based milk. People just can't stop drinking it, even if almond farms are bad for bees and almond milk only contains about five almonds per serving. Just because something is the most popular doesn't necessarily make it the greatest. That's something these signs could learn from.

Tauruses have a lot going for them and against them. While most people think of them as stubborn — which is fitting, seeing as they're represented by bulls — they're also incredibly level-headed. These signs are the friends you need to talk you down when life gets stressful. They are also there to remind you that not everything is as big of a deal as you might think. But, believe it or not, they're not naturally this way. Well, at least not completely. What most people don't know about these signs is that they're obsessed with rest and relaxation. If they had it their way, every day would be a spa day. That's why, if they were any type of milk alternative, they'd be macadamia milk.

Macadamia milk isn't quite as common as the other alternative milks on the market because it tends to be expensive. You won't usually find it at your local coffee shop, which is a shame, because it would make the perfect substitute for Tauruses based on their type of coffee according to their zodiac sign. While the flavor varies from brand to brand, macadamia milk tends to carry the same flavors as the nut itself, including its sweet, nutty, and faintly vanilla aroma. That's more than enough to convince these signs, who are known to bask in indulgent sounds and aromas on a regular basis. With this milk alternative, they can incorporate them into everything they drink.

Ask anybody about their least favorite of all the zodiacs, and more times than not, it will be Geminis — even if they can't necessarily tell you why. Geminis just don't have the greatest of reputations. Most of that has to do with the fact that they're represented by twins, which is usually depicted by the image of two masks. But, the truth is, these signs are just busy people. Their curiosity and outgoing personalities mean that their schedules are filled with different work events, side hustles, and social commitments. Somehow, they're able to make it work, even without a twin. However, it does often mean they don't get to dive as deep into their interests or relationships as others might like, which only leads to more criticisms.

Every zodiac is known to have its faults. However unfairly, the Gemini's faults just seem to have taken center stage. It's unfortunate, really, because these signs do have a lot going for them. For that reason, if these signs were any plant-based milk alternative, they'd be hemp milk — one that's incredibly underrated. It's ironic because these signs are so incredibly social and are known for bringing people together. They both should be popular, but, like them, hemp milk doesn't get the greatest rap in the alt-milk department because of its earthy flavor. Even so, it has benefits that go beyond taste, including serving as a good source of calcium and omega-3s (two things those following vegan diets need).

Signs that follow one another tend to be very different, and that couldn't be more true with Cancers and Geminis. Where the Gemini is detached, the Cancer is devoted. Where the Cancer is sensitive and emotional, the Gemini is smart and ruthless. And, where the Gemini is social and chronically partying, Cancers are guarded and would almost always choose to stay at home than go out. Like the crustaceans that represent them, these signs are happiest inside of their shells. They put a lot of effort into their homes to make them into cozy sanctuaries. They'll happily host, but they just prefer to stay in their comfort zone with the people they love.

The plant-based milk that the Cancer would be is one that complements all the flavors they love: banana milk. Sweet and fruity, banana milk pairs perfectly with coffee — and it's a shortcut if you're in the mood for a banana coffee. But, these signs will also be tempted to add flavors like chocolate and peanut butter, two ingredients that are comfort foods in their own right. Now, these signs enjoy a warm, home-cooked meal more than anybody, but banana milk also works wonderfully in a morning smoothie with berries or greens. It's also particularly delicious for dipping your Oreos in, which these signs will love nothing more than to indulge themselves in while in front of the TV.

Leos are the summer babies of the zodiac. Born between late July and August, this sign's season occurs right at the peak of everyone else's FOMO — when all you want to do is make the most out of what's left of the warm, sunny weather. Fittingly, these signs are the ones you'll want to hit up. They're all about living life to the fullest. Known for having big, flamboyant personalities, Leos are always posting about the fancy dinners and parties they're attending. In the summer, they're the people you check up on only to find that they're still sightseeing in Italy or drinking cocktails by the pool. For that reason, the plant-based milk alternative they would be is coconut milk, which is ideal in summer drink recipes.

From piña coladas to refreshing Portuguese batidas and from pineapple margaritas to spiked pink drinks, all summer cocktails can benefit from coconut milk. The floral, coconut-y notes play well with all the tropical, fruity flavors you crave when the sun comes out, plus it makes them just as creamy and delicious as regular milk would. With a drink in hand, you're sure to be the envy of everyone watching your Instagram stories — which is just what these signs aspire toward. Obviously, coconut milk works as a substitute in other applications too, including baking and cooking, but, like these sun-ruled zodiac signs, cocktails are the most synonymous with fun in the sun.

Everyone knows a Virgo, and if you do, then you also know that they're incredibly productive. It's astonishing what they're able to get done in the same 24 hours of the day as everyone else. These signs simply do not know the feeling of procrastination. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Virgos have a special gift of taking big jumbles of information and tasks and breaking them down into smaller steps. Plus, they love a to-do list. It's quite impressive. It also explains how they're able to get so much done without sacrificing the quality of work. They are perfectionists, after all.

All of that being said, there's really only one alternative milk that these signs could be — and that's pea milk. Pea milk is an impressive alternative because, when you compare it to other types of plant milk on the market, it has more nutrients and micronutrients. When you break it down, it's actually the most nutritionally similar to cow's milk, with high levels of protein, calcium, and vitamin D. But, just like these signs should learn, nothing is absolutely perfect. Pea milk might be nutritious and creamy, but it does have a bit of an aftertaste.

Even with its faults, pea milk is about as close as you'll get if you want a plant-based version of cow's milk. Even if it doesn't necessarily taste exactly the same, your body won't know the difference — that is, unless you're lactose intolerant, of course.

Libras make talented designers and art curators and for good reason. These signs have a special eye for balance and symmetry — which makes sense, seeing as they're represented by the scale — and they're highly regarded for their top tier taste. Libras just appreciate quality, and that extends into everything in their lives, including not just their work and relationships, but also what they eat and drink. So, given that they're such aesthetes, it only makes sense that the alternative milk they would be tastes and looks good, too. For that reason, they could only be oat milk, which has an interesting origin story.

Of all the plant milks on the market, oat milk is the barista's favorite choice. This milk alternative is smooth and creamy with a neutral flavor that works in just about any drink recipe you can think of — it works in baking and cooking, too. The reason why baristas love it, however, is because of its ability to froth, heat, and stretch just as good as cow's milk. It's also the barista preferred alternative milk and the best for creating latte art. That's enough to convince these signs, at least when it comes to looks and taste.

Scorpios are known for being mysterious. These signs always have something — be it a well-kept secret or another side of themselves — that they're hiding. While these signs have all the prerequisites for popularity (they're natural leaders, self-confident, and inexplicably enticing), they tend to keep people at a distance. Scorpios just prefer to be the ones standing on the outside looking in, as lonely as it might sound. They have a strong desire for power and control, and while most things that scare others only intrigue them, vulnerability is their greatest fear.

As you might expect, the Scorpio's mystery leaves others with a lot of room for interpretation. They tend to get mistaken for fire signs a lot and are often associated with danger and darkness. But, being water signs, Scorpios also have a deep, sensitive side to them. The plant-based milk alternative they'd be is one that you probably don't know about — but are no doubt intrigued by: sesame milk. Made with sesame seeds, this milk is unique in that it's gluten-, nut-, and dairy-free. It's creamy and smooth but with an almost unmistakable flavor and aroma reminiscent of tahini.

Subbed for the tahini swirled into your cappuccino or the milk in virtually any chocolate dessert, sesame milk gives you the same, deep, toasty aroma as tahini. In turn, you evoke all of the things that make these signs so magnetic. 

Sagittariuses are fueled by a relentless sense of wanderlust. Being represented by the archers, these signs see life and its challenges as one great adventure. Paired with a natural-born optimism, these signs view everything as a learning lesson and seek out experiences that enhance their understanding of the world. For that reason, the plant-based milk alternative they'd be is one they might find along their travels — particularly if they're backpacking in South America. That's right. If these signs were any milk alternative on the market, they'd be none other than rice milk.

When visiting Mexico, or even a Mexican restaurant, you'll likely come across a drink known as horchata. You'd be remiss not to indulge yourself in the rice-milk based drink that's sweet and nutty with a hint of vanilla and cinnamon. But many don't know the drink's history. Horchata originated in Egypt, where it was originally made from tiger nuts, likely making it one of the first milk alternatives. It then made its way to Spain and eventually to Mexico, where it evolved and was made from other grains like rice. It remains a culturally integral drink today, traveling as far as a Sagittarius, from one country to another.

It only makes sense that Capricorns — known as the workaholics of the zodiac — are represented by the sea goat, a mythical creature that's part fish and part goat. These signs were born to climb, underwater and above ground, which is another testament to their resilience. These signs set and meet goal after goal, often without taking even a moment to revel in their accomplishment. Besides the obvious and inevitable burnout they must experience, their constant quest for a better future often means they forget to appreciate the here and now. But, the plant-based milk alternative they are can help with that.

Capricorns only work hard now so they can play later — whether that's when they clock out at the end of the day or later on in life when they're retired. These signs are set on living the good life, and they're not afraid to work for it. For that reason, the plant-based milk alternative they'd be is one that can provide that feeling in the here and now: pistachio milk, which is more sustainable than almond milk. Slightly green in color, with a creamy and decadent flavor, this milk alternative is as impressive as they come.

As one of the most luxurious milks on the market, pistachio milk is a treat in itself. But, added to this sign's morning coffee, or used in a midday latte break, it'll ensure they start their workday off on an even better note than they'll end it.

Being the trendsetters of the zodiac, Aquariuses have a way of always being ahead of the curve. Much of that can be handed down to the fact that they're completely unafraid of standing out in a crowd. In fact, they prefer it. These signs put their individuality above all else, expressing it through their funky sense of fashion and unpopular opinions. If it's mainstream, or in any way accepted as the norm, they simply aren't interested. Fittingly, the plant-based milk alternative the Aquarius would be is just as much of a trendsetter as they are.

If the Aquarius were any milk alternative out there, they'd be the one that started it all: soy milk. Soy milk came on scene before there was even a scene to come on to, and it did so before Henry Ford made soy milk mainstream. Soy milk came to America in the 1950s. Although it's important to note that soy milks were consumed in China and East Asia long before, Ford is credited with laying the foundation for the non-dairy milk movement. Even so, with so many more options on the market today, it's not the most popular. And if it were, the Aquarius probably wouldn't be interested.

There's a lot you could say about Pisces. It is the final sign on the zodiac calendar — a trait that is said to make them incredibly intuitive. Many believe that, by being the last on the list, these signs have the privilege of inheriting all of the life lessons from the other signs. In turn, these signs are incredibly complex. But, it's not something you'd pick up on by just observing them. What makes these signs unique occurs much more internally, relating to how these signs think and process the worlds that exist both inside and outside of them. 

Pisces are known for their wide imaginations. Most of their time is spent daydreaming and fantasizing, causing them to appear distracted and even uninterested on occasion. On the one hand, these signs can struggle to remain grounded in reality. But it also makes them abundantly creative. For that reason, these signs would be a milk alternative they could experiment with making at home — and, according to the biggest mistakes you're making with homemade plant milk, that should always start with a blend of cashews. In so, they'd be cashew milk.

Being one of the fattiest nuts, cashews are the go-to ingredient for a frothy and creamy plant-based milk. But these signs are by no means bound to them alone. They can feel free to play around with different blends of oats, almonds, and even hazelnuts, to achieve an otherworldly taste unlike anything you'll find pre-made.