She might claim that the best gift is a chores coupon book or a big hug, but what mom really wants is enough chocolate to last through Labor Day.

The old breakfast-in-bed idea will always be cute, but this Mother's Day, give Mom something she actually needs (a replacement for that broken tea kettle) or just plain old wants (sparkly highball glasses). Basically, the goal is to not understand her mumbled "thank you," because she has a mouthful of the plum jam-topped toast and chocolate tea truffles you got her.

Whether you were raised by a chocolate fiend or a salami lover, here are 13 ways to say "thanks for putting up with my awkward years."