We Ranked 26 Classic American Desserts From Worst To Best

Saving room for dessert shouldn't just be a suggestion. There are so many different types of sweet treats that you can make in your home kitchen or order out for a special occasion. But while there are some desserts that are go-tos, there are others that will just never compare. 

We looked at some common (and some less common) American desserts to decide which one deserves the title of "best dessert." When we consider what a good dessert looks (and, more importantly, tastes) like, we think of how a dessert should act as a close to the meal, not a whole meal in itself. It should also have more going for it than just "sweet," but rather play different notes of tangy, fruity, floral, and dark to create a delicious symphony. We ranked these classic American desserts from worst to best on these factors to determine which ones are worth your while and which ones are worth just asking for the check instead.

Shoofly pie is a treat that we can credit to the Pennsylvania Dutch. This molasses and brown sugar pie gets its name from the fact that it is so sweet that it tends to attract flies — which is precisely its problem. 

It essentially tastes like buttery, sweet mush packed into a pie crust. There's no other flavor besides sweet, and there are no nuts to help distract from the cloying flavor.

A baked Alaska is essentially an ice cream cake for grownups, featuring layers of cake, ice cream, and a torched meringue coating. Despite its showstopping qualities, fundamental structural issues make it a flop.

The first is that the cake is so tall that when you slice into it, you can't get a bit of cake, ice cream, and meringue in every bite — unless you pick your spoon up and diligently grab each part. So, the individual components read as just that, rather than as a cohesive dessert. Plus, like traditional ice cream cake, the frozen dessert and the sponge compete for dominance, which makes it even less cohesive. 

We understand if pumpkin pie is your favorite part of Thanksgiving. But to us, it's a dessert that's left behind in the dust compared to others. It's notoriously tough to make at home because it's prone to cracking. Not to mention, the filling can have a goopy texture that'll make it rather unpleasant to eat.

Arguably, the only good part about a pumpkin pie is the copious amount of whipped cream it's served with, along with a good crust.

A banana split is a meal in itself and far from the first thing that comes to mind when we think of a "little after-dinner treat." There are copious amounts of hot fudge, ice cream, whipped cream, cherries, and sometimes, seemingly the kitchen sink. 

It's an overwhelming dessert, and the sheer number of ingredients prevents any single one from standing out. You might even forget there's ice cream underneath there! We would rather keep our dessert cool, calm, and collected and go with something that doesn't need a massive sundae boat to fit everything.

Rice Krispies treats are fun and whimsical, but the novelty wears off. Not only is a Rice Krispies treat sickeningly sweet, but it also doesn't keep well on day two. So you're better off buying the pre-packaged ones, sticking them in your kid's lunchbox, and calling it a day. 

However, we will give this dessert credit for being pretty versatile; you can upgrade your Rice Krispies treats by mixing in everything from condensed milk to bacon or swapping out your cereal for another variety. 

Black and white cookies were a fun part of our childhood. But the "cookie" moniker never sat well with us since they are tiny cakes with a frosting that tastes more like plastic than anything. Our other main qualm with these New York City staples is that the chocolate half just tastes like the vanilla half; there's nothing more complex or tasty about it. 

The only time it's acceptable to grab a black and white cookie is when you're bustling through Grand Central Station and are craving something sweet while you're walking. It's a cookie we'll eat, but not one that we'll go out of our way to find.

We don't like cheesecake — sue us. But, we can put our personal feelings aside about this popular dessert to give it the most objective analysis possible. The versatility of the cheesecake cannot be understated. After all, the Cheesecake Factory alone offers nearly 40 different flavors. 

This dessert, however, doesn't deliver on texture or ease. Cheesecake is mushy and lacks the contrast in texture that would make it more pleasurable to eat. After sitting in the fridge, the crust gets soggy, and we find ourselves scraping it off to get to the cheesy center. Aside from no-bake versions, this is a difficult, time-consuming, and downright frustrating dessert to make at home. If you look at it the wrong way, it cracks. 

When we first ordered this cake from Cracker Barrel, we expected it to have some cola flavor. But we were disappointed to learn that it just tasted like a good, plain chocolate cake. 

Upon closer look, the Coca-Cola cake gets its moisture from the buttermilk and mini marshmallows in the sponge and a bit of cola in the fudgy icing. The fudge layer prevents the cake from drying out — which is one of the most common faults of other cakes and cake-like desserts we've ranked. But it's just not as widely baked as other, more popular desserts. 

We love tapioca pudding, and we're honestly a bit hurt that it isn't as popular as other desserts. This pudding combines elements of a perfectly sweetened custard with small, but not obtrusive, pieces of tapioca. It can't be beat, especially when it's topped with a layer of whipped cream. 

Some think tapioca pudding fell out of popularity because brands have spent more time marketing more up-and-coming desserts, including boba tea, which also uses tapioca pearls. Though we think that this classic (and underappreciated) American dessert could use a renaissance. 

Red velvet cake just screams opulence. It towers over its dessert competitors, both literally and figuratively, and makes for a show-stopping dessert that eaters of all ages can appreciate. We ranked it among our top popular cake flavors because it has the puckeringly sour flavor of buttermilk that hits the back of your tongue, which is quickly coated with a thick cream cheese frosting. This is one dessert where the cake and the frosting are inseparable — which comes as both a blessing and a curse. 

Another downside to red velvet cake is that it's dense. It's a dessert that we could eat a couple of bites of before politely putting down the fork and asking for a to-go box. 

We can thank the Germans for inspiring this cookie with their shneckennudel — a version of a cinnamon bun — but we should credit New Englanders for cementing its whimsical name. A snickerdoodle is about as fun to say as it is to eat. These soft cookies get their flavor from a coating of cinnamon and sugar, as well as cream of tartar, which gives them a distinct tang. 

Snickerdoodles are a more complex dessert than other cookies because of the cream of tartar. But it's also an ingredient that makes a snickerdoodle cookie recipe tough to tweak.

We will never turn down a slice of apple pie. Unlike peach cobbler, you can really make apple pie at any time of year since the fruit is more readily available. But it will always be an autumnal dessert best served with a scoop of ice cream. 

Apple pie is sweet but not heavy. The buttery yet comparatively bland crust helps subdue some of the sweetness and makes each slice of apple pie one we can finish. Plus, apple pie is a much easier pie to make than a pumpkin or a custard-meringue pie, which makes it one that is novice-friendly, as well as a staple for seasoned bakers. The only downside of this pie is that it isn't as convenient to pop in your mouth and walk away, unlike a cookie or a brownie. 

When we think of brownies, we think of the word "customizable." Not only can you make a decadent fudgy batch or stick to a more cake-like version, but you can also elevate your brownies with everything from nuts to fruit. Plus, you don't even have to be a great baker to make a batch of this for dessert; just grab a box of Betty Crocker, oil, and eggs, and you'll be good to go. 

You can even mix together brownies with chocolate sandwich cookies or cookie dough, or use it as the base for your ice cream sundae. There's pretty much nothing a brownie can't do — which catapults it to the top of our list.