6 Insomnia Cookies Fall Items, Ranked From Worst To Best
We're big fans of Insomnia Cookies over here. There's nothing like craving a sweet treat at midnight, realizing Insomnia is open until 3 a.m. (trust us, we know), and ordering a cookie right to your door. It's truly an ideal process. This fall, Insomnia Cookies came out with its fall line of products, ranging from cookies to brownies to ice cream and more. If there are two things we're excited about this fall season, it's baked goods and Halloween vibes. Insomnia Cookies did us the pleasure of combining the two, and we're jazzed about it.
If you don't live close to an Insomnia Cookies location, the brand luckily ships its products nationwide. It has cookie flavors ranging from classic chocolate chip and snickerdoodle to deluxe options like confetti and salted caramel, and even vegan varieties like vegan double chocolate chunk and vegan birthday cake. And we can't forget all of our gluten-free baddies out there, as there's a gluten-free chocolate chip cookie option (though we think the brand should add a few more gluten-free options, personally). With so many flavors — not to mention brownies and ice cream — what do you choose? This fall, we tried the range of Insomnia Cookies' Halloween line and ranked each item. If you're a fan of spooky season sweets, read on.
6. Nightmare Weaver Cookie Butter Bomb
We are sad to report that the Nightmare Weaver Cookie Butter Bomb (only available at certain locations) missed the mark for us. We weren't expecting that, especially because we enjoy all of the ingredients that went into the flavor separately. This ice cream is double chocolate chunk cookies in s'mores-flavored ice cream with milk fudge swirls and sprinkles, with Glampire Cookie Butter mixed in, all dyed a lavender color. If that sounds like a mouthful to you, you'd be right. As we mentioned, we enjoy all of those elements separately. Chocolate chunks? Obsessed. S'mores? Count us in. Fudge? Amazing. Sprinkles? We call them jimmies, but we love them. And cookie butter? We dig it.
But the amalgamation of all these ingredients just resulted in one over-saturated scoop. It was sweetness maxed out beyond the sweetness meter and almost tasted like, well ... nothing? It reminded us of when, as a child, you mixed a bunch of bright colors together thinking they would merge into an even brighter color, but it just turned into a poopy brown or black. That's what happened here. The flavors were fighting each other for attention, the dye stained our lips and tongue a blackish-gray, and we had to pass on this dessert after a few bites. We do enjoy every other ice cream flavor at Insomnia Cookies, but if you're a really curious person, you can try this one. Just be aware of what you're getting yourself into.
5. Double Trouble
No, this cookie flavor isn't named after the She-Ra character on the Netflix show (though we wish it was). The Double Trouble cookie in the fall line from Insomnia Cookies consists of a chocolate cookie with cocoa, chocolate chips, and Reese's pieces. Though Reese's pieces only make up a quarter of the elements in the cookie, it tasted largely like a peanut butter cookie to us. If you're a fan of peanut butter and chocolate, you'll probably enjoy this one. And if you want to get your Halloween candy fix but don't want to eat straight-up candy, a cookie is a fun vessel to do so.
This is essentially an elevated double chocolate chunk cookie. The Reese's pieces add a nice touch so that the chocolate isn't overwhelming on your palette. We think there's a good ratio of add-ins to the actual cookie itself, and it's a solid, middle-of-the-road option. The reason it ranked so low on this list was that it didn't wow us like many of the other options did. It was fine.
4. Glampire Big Dipper
The concept of the big dipper boxes is you pick a variety of cookies (we went with chocolate chip, double chocolate chunk, snickerdoodle, and white chocolate macadamia nuts) and have a side of cookie butter to dip the cookies in. The Glampire Big Dipper is a sugar overload, which is fun at times, but we were all sugared out after a few bites. The cookies are difficult to dip in the cookie butter because of the consistency, though taking a knife and spreading the cookie butter on the cookies is a good option. The Glampire Cookie Butter was red velvet flavored, and the combination of red velvet with the cookie flavors we chose was a little bit odd.
The scenario in which we can see this working best — instead of eating it as the brand recommends — is by putting the cookie butter and cookies out on a sweet charcuterie board. Yes, charcuterie boards don't have to only contain cheese and savory elements. You could add pretzels, nuts, marshmallows, cookies, strawberries, blueberries, chocolate sauce, caramel sauce, and any other fun snacking items to the board to go with your cookie butter and cookies. We think dipping items like pretzels and strawberries into the red velvet cookie butter would create more of a balance of sweetness, instead of the overload of the cookie butter and cookie combination. But hey, if you have an absolute massive sweet tooth, by all means, go for it.
3. Glampire Cookie Butter
If you're intrigued by the Glampire Cookie Butter but don't want it with the variety of cookies, you do have the option to just order it on its own. Cookie butter is an interesting concept. Is it a condiment? A spread? A dip? We say it's whatever you want it to be in whatever context you see fit. At Insomnia Cookies, they put it on just about everything. It was in the Nightmare Weaver Cookie Butter Bomb ice cream, on top of the Glampire Loaded Brownie (more on that later), and as a side in the Glampire Big Dipper. We think glampire is an apt name for cookie butter that's been dyed blood red.
If your only previous experience with cookie butter is the one from Trader Joe's, you'd be interested to try this one. It's red velvet flavored, which was a good choice in our opinion. Atop the Glampire Cookie Butter sits absolutely adorable Halloween sprinkles. The sprinkle mix contains various shapes and sizes, including bone shapes, glittery sprinkles, lavender sprinkles, black sprinkles, and larger red and black ball-shaped sprinkles. We thought it was a quality sprinkle mix with good ratios of everything. The sprinkles work nicely with the cookie butter and help give it some dimension. If you want this cookie butter to serve more as a frosting, you can totally heat it up in the microwave for a few seconds to make the consistency a bit more liquidy.
2. Deluxe Treat Bag
We think the Deluxe Treat Bag is an apt, albeit confusing, name for this item. If you just heard the name, but never saw a picture of the item, you might be thinking it's a goodie bag full of candy and sweets. You'd be on the right track. At Insomnia Cookies, the Deluxe Treat bag is the name of a cookie, and boy is it good. You get a brown sugar cookie base with chopped-up Hershey's mini Kisses, Heath toffee bits, and Kit Kats. It's basically a Halloween trick-or-treat bag mixed into a soft cookie, and it just works.
We're not big fans of Heath bars ourselves, so we were worried we weren't going to be fans of this one. However, we were astonished to find that the Heath bars' texture only added to the dimension of the cookie. The Kit Kats added a wonderful crunch, and the mini kisses brought that extra burst of chocolate we needed. The base cookie itself was also incredible. The brown sugar paired nicely with all of the chocolate candies, and it created the ideal balance. It was definitely sweet, and we could only eat about half of the enormous cookie, but this was a product where the creators at Insomnia Cookies got the balance of flavors right.
1. Glampire Loaded Brownie
This was the treat that took the cake (or, brownie?) for us. It was rich without being overwhelming, the balance between the cookie butter, sprinkles, and brownie was perfect, and we wished we had ordered, like, five. The Glampire Loaded Brownie was by far the best thing in the Insomnia Cookies fall line, and not just because it was the only brownie on the list. We'd rate cookies and brownies as equal dessert options, so don't accuse us of brownie bias.
The Glampire Loaded Brownie is an adult Cosmic Brownie. Remember those? The mini packaged treats you ate as a kid with the chocolate frosting and hard sprinkles on top (that later got turned into a cereal)? This is better. The sprinkles (which are the same Halloween sprinkles that come on the cookie butter and ice cream) are actually soft. You know that feeling when you bite into a rock-solid marble of a sprinkle? That's what we were anticipating, but we're happy to report they won't break your teeth. The sprinkles added a nice texture to an otherwise soft brownie, and the frosting (Glampire Cookie Butter) on top didn't make the treat overwhelmingly sweet. Was it sweet? Absolutely, but it was decadent in an enjoyable way. We enjoyed the red velvet flavor of the cookie butter in this context and thought it paired nicely with the chocolate brownie. Heat this baby for a few seconds in a microwave, and you've got an ideal after-dinner treat.