Alton Brown's Hilarious Blue Apron Meal Kit Review

If you've ever wondered what it's like when Alton Brown goes rogue in the kitchen, we have the answer. And it's hilarious. Full disclosure: Alton's wife, Elizabeth Ingram, was in the kitchen, too, but her role was more wine-sipping sidekick than sober voice of reason. The just-what-we-needed silliness in an episode of Brown's YouTube show, Quarantine Quitchen, kicks off with Brown and Ingram good-naturedly attempting to herd one of their delightfully disobedient dogs onto "puff," the dogs' fluffy white blanket. The goal, we think, is to set the scene for a cozy kitchen adventure with the pups cuddled up in a corner. The pups had other ideas.

The gist of the episode? Ingram ordered a Blue Apron meal kit. The original plan was to cook a meal according to Blue Apron's instructions, but that was far too plebeian​​ for Brown's adventurous spirit. So, he deemed the instructions "boring," tossed them aside, proceeded to inventory the ingredients, and decided to make up new rules on the fly. "I don't even know how to sort this out. I just need to get some food so that ... okay, I have an idea. I have an idea. You want to hear my idea?" he says. "I say we look at all of this and just make whatever the [expletive] we want ..." 

Alton Brown and his wife, Elizabeth Ingram, agreed to randomly select a bag of seasoning (knick-knacks, according to Blue Apron), before taking turns selecting six ingredients. The ingredient selection process in this episode of Quarantine Quitchen plays out like a comedy skit in its own right, with Brown and Ingram bantering about likes and dislikes, comparing the Blue Apron meal kit to a snack pack for grown-ups, and making frequent references to cocktail time. After much good-humored negotiation — Brown gets his way most of the time — it was game on with lots of cooking highlighted by plenty of entertaining banter. And of course, the cocktail, Brown's take on a Vesper made with vodka, dry vermouth, and orange bitters then garnished with a caper berry.

Despite all the hijinks, Brown and Ingram ended up creating a meal Brown deemed "one of the best meals we've made on this show," using a custom-selection of Blue Apron ingredients including ground pork, rice, squash, poblano pepper, red onion, and pita. Ingram described the dish as Middle Eastern Mexican, while Brown challenged Blue Apron to send them a box of leftovers and let them loose in the kitchen.

Throughout the more than one-hour video, real-time viewers weighed in with comments, including this one from Huntsman Pixie: "​Alton Brown is by far one of the most humorous men on YouTube. Hazaah!" Based on this video, we tend to agree.