The Classic Dessert You Are, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

If you ask me, no meal is complete without a little dessert. Life's just too short to deny yourself something sweet, and if anyone tries to tell you otherwise, I'd advise you shrug them and their sad, sad opinions right off. Let them watch you dive into your ice cream, cookie skillet, layered chocolate cake, or creme brulee. Just make sure you get your fix, because it's only a matter of time before they break and ask for a taste of it for themselves. At that point, you can tease them, have a bit of a laugh, and slide the plate over to them — because all good things are better shared, right? I guess that depends on what zodiac sign you ask.

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Whether you're included in the quarter of the U.S. population that believes in astrology — that is, the effects that the moon, stars, planets, and their placements can have on your everyday life — or not, it's a great way to get a read on people. You might be the one who orders the dessert, or you might be the one who denies yourself the treat — both are factors that can be determined based on your sign. You can also use someone's zodiac sign to weigh the possibility of them sharing a bite of it with you or vice versa. But that's not what we're here to talk about. We're here to determine which classic dessert you are based on your zodiac sign.

Aries

When it comes to dessert, Aries takes the cake — or rather, pie. As the first sign in the zodiac, these signs love being number one. Considering that pies — whether a fruit one, a cream one, or a seasonal one like strawberry rhubarb or apple — are indisputably the most popular dessert in the U.S., it's no question that they're the classic dessert for this zodiac sign. Aries are notoriously competitive, and they aren't shy about it. They want to be the best at everything they do, and the Aries' sheer confidence and uncomplicated manner of going about things usually means they succeed in that. But it's not always such a piece of cake — or pie, I mean — for these fire signs.

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There's a reason the Aries is represented by the ram. These signs are headstrong, direct, stubborn, and quick to react. While their blind optimism does land them in some pretty exciting situations, it can also result in some lessons learned the hard way. They're known for their fiery tempers, but if you give them the space they need to cool down, you'll find that they can also be playful and positive. Because they represent the singular spirit, however, they tend to harvest some selfish tendencies. It's just one of the many personality traits that make them such impressive competitors — just don't expect a piece of the pie when they win. As a matter of fact, you're probably better off ordering your own.

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Taurus

As an Earth sign, the Taurus is famous for being grounded. These signs are as unshakeable as a bull — which is fitting since that's what they're represented by. While they can certainly come off as stubborn at times, their commitment to themselves and their routines are what make them the stable, loyal, and trustworthy friends we know them to be. After all, it's difficult to be a rock for others if you aren't attending to yourself first. That, of course, includes indulging in the things that bring them comfort. Spa days, essential oil baths, soft music, natural surroundings, and a little dessert at the end of the day are all up the Taurus's alley. But, if this sign were any one dessert in particular, it'd be a molten chocolate cake.

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There's nothing quite as indulgent as a molten chocolate cake, also known as chocolate lava cake. It takes the saying "death by chocolate" to a whole other level. The rich, gooey chocolate cake has a center that is filled with flowing, warm chocolate. With each bite, the warm chocolate filling spreads across your plate to, hopefully, meet the scoop of vanilla ice cream or sweet whipped cream it's classically served with. Found on essentially every restaurant menu in America, the molten chocolate cake is as dependable as it is extravagant. So, if you've had a particularly rough day — the kind that only chocolate cake can turn around — and your Taurus friend is busy, you know what to order.

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Gemini

No other zodiac has the reputation that Geminis do, and that's not necessarily a good thing. Represented by twins, these signs are often accused of being two-faced — but this isn't really a fair judgment. Every zodiac sign has its faults, after all. While Geminis aren't completely innocent — these signs can be superficial, immature, and erratic — they're also incredibly intelligent, versatile, and charismatic. It's their curiosity and dynamic social lives that get them into trouble. Or, at least, it's why they're represented by twins. In order to make time for all of their hobbies, side hustles, and friends, these signs would need to be able to be in two places at once. Hence, the twin association.

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While the whole split personality accusations are by no means accurate, it has kind of become what these signs are notorious for — so why not play into it? If the Gemini were any classic dessert, they'd be the banana split. Like the Gemini, who doesn't shy away from controversy, the banana split has debated origins. It's usually plated with three scoops of ice cream sandwiched between a half-sliced banana, each dolloped with a healthy helping of whipped cream and a cherry on top. The banana split is an hommage to the Gemini's split calendars and commitments — not their personalities. If only they could make like a banana and split everywhere they need to be, and maybe then more people could see the playful, creative, and visionary people that these signs really are.

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Cancer

Like the crabs they're represented by, Cancers tend to hide their true personality behind hard, cold shells — but, deep down, these signs are just big softies. Even though their deep sensitivity and empathic nature aren't obvious right away, it's always there. These signs feel everything, and they're extremely sensitive to their environments. For that reason, they also tend to be drawn to stability, routine, and the comfort of the familiar. So it probably comes as no surprise to learn that Cancers are big homebodies, and they tend to put a lot of effort into creating a space for themselves that feels cozy and safe. The same can be said about the food they eat.

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Nobody appreciates a homecooked meal as much as a Cancer does, and while one could argue that all desserts are comforting, the one that Cancers would have needs to be especially so. That's why, if this sign were any classic dessert, they'd be a skillet cookie. Chocolate chip cookies are already known to be a universal favorite, but when they're baked in a large skillet and topped with a cold scoop of ice cream, magic happens. You could also go the classic PB&J skillet cookie route, but that classic combination of cold and warm only amplifies the chocolate chip cookie's salty yet sweet flavor and crunchy yet soft texture to hit your taste buds from all angles. Either way, it's nostalgia on a plate, and, fortunately for the Cancer, it's surprisingly simple to master at home.

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Leo

Leos are the summer babies of the zodiac calendar, and it shows. These signs know how to live life to the fullest, and they are known for their big personalities and warm spirits. The Leos' ambitious, bold, and charismatic personalities make them natural entertainers, and they absolutely love being in the spotlight. But, they're also surprisingly loving and loyal — it's why they're associated with lions. Fun, confident, and full of life, these signs are the bright-sided friends we all need because they inspire and push us to live our best lives. Because, even though they love it when the attention is on them, they're equally as happy to celebrate you.

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Considering that Leos are born in the summer and are associated with warm colors like yellow, gold, and orange, their classic dessert embodies the sweet fruits of summertime and does so in the bright shade of honey mango. That's right; if the Leo were any classic dessert, they'd be mango sticky rice. It's sweet, it's sticky, and it's made with the juiciest slices of mango that are conducive to the summertime. Besides, we all know that when we say we want Thai food, we really mean we want mango sticky rice. Of course, we go for the greeny curry, pad Thai, chicken satay, and tom yum soup, but what we stay for is the mango sticky rice — it's the star of the meal, and, with that, it's exactly the dessert that a Leo would be.

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Virgo

Everybody knows that if you need something done — and you need it done right — Virgos are the people to ask. These Earth signs find value in being productive, and they'll happily take on another task if it gives them one more thing to cross off of their to-do list. While Virgos are known for being organized, they're not necessarily tidy. They're the friends whose room may be a mess but will send out Google calendar invites for brunch or create an Excel sheet for your group trip. They're perfectionists, and they pay extremely close attention to the details, even if it's to a fault. All things considered, the classic dessert that the Virgo would be would have to exhibit some kind of order amongst the chaos. 

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Even though some may argue that perfection doesn't exist, there are a few classic desserts that border on perfection. But only one does it to the Virgo's level of regimentation, and that'd be a classic tiramisu. Made from layers of espresso-dipped Italian lady finger cookies and rich custard, tiramisu is made in an easy step-by-step process that would satisfy Virgo's OCD-like tendencies. Dusted with cocoa powder and chocolate shavings to enhance the coffee flavors, this dessert also plays on the Earth signs personality with terroir-dependent ingredients. But, above all, when the tiramisu is finished and served, it will exhibit those flawless layers and deliver flavors that will have you thinking maybe — just maybe — perfection does exist.

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Libra

Represented by the scale, Libras are also a bit obsessed with perfection — however, unlike the Virgo, they're all about perfection in the aesthetic sense, not the technical. These signs have a special eye for symmetry and balance that makes them talented designers, stylists, decorators, and art critics. Libras strive to achieve this balance in all areas of their lives. They often have exquisite tastes, and they very much live by the quality over quantity rule. That, of course, extends to what they eat. These signs will be the first to notice any flavor imbalances, and they'll pay special attention to a plate's presentation. This means that the classic dessert for Libras doesn't only have to deliver in flavor but looks too. 

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Considering this sign's affinity for balance and harmony and its appreciation for beauty in many forms, the classic dessert that embodies the Leo is baklava. Baklava is made by meticulously layering thin, flakey sheets of phyllo pastry over cinnamon-scented pistachios, walnuts, and hazelnuts. It's then coated in a honey syrup that is left to absorb overnight, making this dessert taste even better the next day. The time and skill this dessert requires make it reflective of the Libra's appreciation for quality over quantity. Also, the fact that it's flavored with honey and no additional sugars means that none of the 25 variations of baklava will ever come out too sweet. Rather, it's perfectly balanced by the flakey pastry dough and nuts.

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Scorpio

Like the Gemini, Scorpios have a bit of a reputation in the zodiac community. These signs are known for being secretive and mysterious; it's kind of their thing. The Scorpio's elusiveness is what others say makes them so seductive, but for them, it's about much more than that. Scorpios only want you to know certain parts of them and not their full selves because it keeps them in a position of power. They're not liars, per se — just masters of letting you in on certain truths while leaving out others. For this reason, Scorpios can present themselves in whatever way they see fit. But, no matter what version you get, you can bet that there's much more underneath that they're not showing you. 

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Scorpios are just as deep as they are dark, so naturally, the classic dessert for this sign should be, too. For that reason, if the Scorpio were any dessert, it'd be one made with deep, dark, and rich chocolate — like a flourless chocolate cake. Flourless chocolate cake is rich, rich, RICH. While it may lack the flour, it still packs the density. Like the Scorpio, all it takes is one bite, and you're sucked into its seemingly never-ending depths of rich dark chocolate. Topped with any of the best fruits to pair with dark chocolate and a generous dusting of powdered sugar, this classic dessert is almost better than sex, which, for the Scorpio, is saying something.

Sagittarius

Said to be the luckiest sign of the zodiac, Sagittariuses are like the walking personification of the saying "go big or go home." It's not just by chance, either. These signs have an overall optimistic and happy-go-lucky spirit that, inadvertently, means things often work out in their favor. It also means that Sagittariuses are more prone to taking risks. Even by chance, if something doesn't work out how they planned it, the Sagittarius is a pro at shrugging it off and moving forward. To this sign, every up and down that life hands them is an opportunity to learn and grow. These signs make the most of any situation and will always walk away better than they were before. 

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For that reason, if the Sagittarius were any classic dessert, they'd be the infamous Baked Alaska — one of the most challenging desserts to master. These sweet treats are made of an ice cream and cake filling that's coated in a caramelized meringue. The trickiest part is figuring out how to finish the meringue without melting the center. It requires the finest of timing when prepared in the oven, and it's the perfect challenge for a Sagittarius, and certainly not one that they'd shy away from. Even if it took them a few tries, the Sagittarius would take notes of their mistakes until they got it just right. In the end, they'll be reaping all of the rewards. The rest of us, however, might just stick to ordering it out.

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Capricorn

With names like Michelle Obama and Martin Luther King Jr. associated with the sign, it's no secret that Capricorns are known for their powerful presence and poise. These signs carry themselves with the sort of energy that commands a room. Even in the face of adversity, they're known to hold their heads high and to continue in pursuit of their goals, which seem to be neverending. It's true — these signs are all about the climb. It's why they're often referred to as the "workaholics" of the zodiac. Even so, these signs aren't all work and no play. While Capricorns may get caught up in their own self-criticism and could definitely benefit from a regular gratitude practice, these signs know how to have a good time.

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When you get them away from their desks, the Capricorn's conservative and restrained exterior dissipates, and they become the life of the party. Interestingly enough, this phenomenon becomes even more prevalent with age. The Capricorn has a magical ability to age backward — energetically, at least — which means that their designated classic dessert should be both ageless, celebratory, and, dare I say, commemorative of a significant life event or achievement. If that didn't give it away, the classic dessert that a Capricorn would be is a cupcake.  Whether it's a birthday or a job promotion, chocolate flavored or funfetti, this type of cake is the perfect way for the Capricorn to commemorate all of their hard work — especially if there's a party involved.

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Aquarius

Despite the "aqua" in their name, Aquariuses are not water signs — they're air signs. Seeing as the two are considered social opposites, that much becomes obvious as soon as you meet them. Unlike the water signs, who value deep, emotional relationships, Aquarius tend to have a wide array of what most people would call "good acquaintances." This is what the Aquarius prefers. This sign is especially unique to the rest of the air signs in that they value their independence and individuality above all else. In fact, these signs make it a point to be as controversial as they possibly can. They're contrarians at heart. The Aquarius's associated classic dessert, therefore, should defy some aspect of conventionality. 

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As discussed before, the Aquarius despises any mainstream conceptions of regularity — and they make it pretty clear. They're sort of like the carrot cake of the zodiac world. They're definitely interesting, and certainly tasty — but, carrots? Why? The history of carrot cake goes back way longer than you might expect  — it was invented by English housewives of the 1940s who, as a result of the sugar rations imposed on them throughout World War II, resorted to using the sweet root vegetables as a natural sweetener in their baked goods. So, not only is it one of the few desserts that contains a vegetable — and pulls it off, if I do say so myself — but it's also representative of the Aquarius's humanitarian nature.

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Pisces

Intuitive, sensitive, and artistic are just a few words that begin to describe the Pisces —  emphasis on the "begin." These signs are represented by two fish swimming in opposite directions, which is fitting, considering that these signs tend to evade any sort of distinction. Pisces are free-flowing and boundless. When describing a Pisces, they almost sound other-worldly. As if they exist in some alternate reality that the rest of us haven't had the slightest clue about — and, in a lot of ways, they do. These signs are daydreamers. Their attention is constantly being divided by fantasy and reality. Their imaginations are a means of escaping the world.  

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Pisces have entire worlds living in their minds that they're just dying to make into a reality. While we all may not have their psychic abilities, we do have dessert — and I couldn't think of a better mental getaway than those first few bites into a creamy, dreamy dessert like cheesecake. Whether it's a classic New York style, pumpkin, chocolate-peanut butter, or key lime, we all know that the first bite into it will send you into another dimension. Suddenly, all of your problems feel like they're far, far away, and all you can focus on is that next bite. Even after it's gone, you'll be daydreaming about it into the next day. So, if the Pisces were any classic dessert, they'd obviously be cheesecake.

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