The Fast Food Dessert You Are, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Fast food and dessert should go hand and hand, but you'd be surprised how many bad ones are out there. From the grainy and horrendously sweet Subway cookies our taste testers ranked the worst, to the globular shaped, out right off-looking apple fritters from Mcdonalds, there's a lot of room for disappointment when you're ordering from the drive thru. Fortunately, you won't find any of those here. When it comes to the fast food dessert you are, based on your zodiac sign, I'll only focus on the best of the best — so no need to worry to any of you overly competitive Aries, over-achieving Virgos, or social climbing Capricorns reading this. You're all in good hands.

While it might be hard for some of the signs reading this to digest, the fast food dessert you'd be based on your zodiac is not a competition (Aries, I'm talking to you), nor is it your end all be all dessert. This is all for fun and games. But, that doesn't mean there isn't any meaning behind it. Every sign has a designated fast food they'd be, one that's equally as telling of their personality and values as the element that governs them. No matter if you're an earth, air, fire or water sign, or if you're fixed, cardinal, or mutable, nothing says quite as much about you and your sign as the type of fast food dessert you'd be. Keep reading to find out what the stars determined as yours.

Considering that Aries are known, first and foremost, as the most competitive signs on the zodiac calendar, the fast food dessert they'd be is fairly easy. Even being the first signs on the zodiac calendar isn't enough for these signs — they need to be first everywhere else in their life too, and that includes this. In so, if the Aries were any fast food dessert they'd have to be one that isn't just the best dessert of all, but the best fast food item period. With that, it's only right that the Aries be the banana pudding milkshake from Chick-fil-A, the fast food dessert our taste testers ranked as the best fast food item of 2024.

What makes this milkshake good enough to be placed first is that it's made from actual bananas. In so, this milkshake comes without any of the off-putting fake banana flavors you might have associated with banana-flavored things, and instead tastes like real, fresh bananas. Combined with Chick-fil-A ice cream, the real bananas only make it all the more rich and creamy, and its placement as number one on our taste tester's ranking is only solidified by the topping of whipped cream and crumbled vanilla wafers.

Garnished with a bright red cherry and served all year long, this milkshake assignment should be the cherry on top of the Aries' day. It'll also make a great cool down drink in the moments when their competitiveness gets the best of them.

There are a lot of words you could use to describe the Taurus, including dependable, reliable, steady, level-headed, and calm — but, for whatever reason, most people choose to use the word stubborn. You can word it any way that you like, but if there's anything you can always count on when it comes to the Taurus, it's that you can always count on them. The fast food dessert they'd be, in turn, is similar in the fact that it's equally as stubborn and trustworthy, but also consistent. So much so that you can flip it upside down and it won't spill on you.

That's right, if the Taurus were any fast food dessert, they'd be a blizzard from Dairy Queen. Whenever you order one of these babies, you can always expect the drive thru person to hold it upside down before handing it over to you — just to show off how thick and rich, but also stubborn, their ice cream is. For that reason, whether its a secret menu flavor or one of the classics, you can always count on your Dairy Queen Blizzard to be just as creamy and solid as it always is. For a sign that values reliability above all else, that should mean something.

Of all the zodiac signs, Geminis undoubtedly have the worst reputations. But, they're also undoubtedly the most misunderstood. You see, because they're represented by twins, which is often depicted by the image of two masks, many have come under the assumption that these signs are two faced. Whether that's true or not is up for debate, but astrology says it's only because these signs have so many friends and interests that the only way they could be everywhere and do everything that they want to they'd need to be able to split themselves in two. So, if these signs were any fast food dessert, they would have to be one that follows suit.

If the Gemini were any fast food dessert, they'd be the classic banana split from Culver's — the exact same exact classic dessert these signs would be, based on their zodiac. Geminis just can't seem to get away from the stereotype of having split personalities, and while it is somewhat unfortunate, it does result in some pretty sweet dessert pairings. Culver's banana splits come with all the usual fixings, too, including a whole banana (split perfectly down the middle, of course), its famous vanilla frozen custard, hot fudge, strawberry sauce and caramel, all topped with whipped cream, real strawberries, pecans and a red cherry to seal the deal.

Cancers put up hard shells like the true crabs they are — and they can be incredibly difficult to break through. But, because they come off so cold at first, what lies underneath can often come as a surprise. These signs are incredibly sensitive beings, and they crave constant comfort. That's why, if they were any fast food dessert, it'd have to be one from a chain serving the kind of classic, southern comfort food that they love, which could only mean they'd be one from Popeye's. But, instead of filling their McDonald's apple pie void with the Popeye's version, they'd be something even more iconic in its own right: a chocolate chip biscuit.

Popeye's introduced the chocolate chip version of its famous biscuits during the summer of 2024, following the limited time strawberry versions they released the year 2023. The sweet take on what many consider to be the fast food chain's shining star is just as flaky and warm, with an equally light and airy crumb. Only, it's made even more comforting with the inclusion of chocolate chips — an ingredient that's been proven by science to elevate your mood and, literally, provide comfort. Topped with a drizzle of frosting, these Popeye's biscuits will serve as the perfect pick me up for these signs.

Born from July to August, Leos are the quintessential signs of the summer. But, the truth is, they bring the energy of the season everyday of the year. Leo's have bright and sunny personalities, which makes sense because they're ruled by the sun. They're also incredibly warm and energetic, which only plays more into their planetary ruler. So, while they themselves might not need any help beating the heat (they actually love it), it only makes sense that, if they were any fast food dessert, they'd be one that launched just in time to help everyone else do so: the triple berry frosty from Wendy's.

Wendy's triple berry frosty launched in June of 2024 —just in time for summer. While a departure from the original, slightly chocolate flavor of the original Wendy's Frosty, the triple berry serves as a triple threat against the summer heat. Made from a combination of strawberry, blackberry and raspberry flavor, combined with the classic, rich vanilla Frosty base, the limited time triple berry Frosty might not be around all year round to deliver the summer flavor, but one can hope it will make it on to the permanent menu. Until then, everyone will have to continue leaning on Leo's for the summer vibes.

As far as personality types and zodiacs go, Virgos are undoubtedly the most type A. These signs live by their to-do lists, and they love breaking things down into steps, making them incredibly productive. But, while it might seem like they have everything together, what a lot of people don't know is how much these signs rely on keeping busy to feel fulfilled. In fact, the Virgo gets a lot of its confidence from how much they're able to get done, making it difficult for them to relax.

Obviously, that kind of mindset can come with a lot of cons — one being that they can't sit down and enjoy a dessert without stopping what they're doing, and that, if they do, they might miss out on crossing something off of their daily to do list (which, for them, can be very triggering). But, that's not the case when it comes to the fast food dessert they'd be. That's because, if they were any, they'd be the gooey butter cake on a stick from White Castle. 

Unlike White Castle's problematic chantilly cake, the gooey butter cake on a stick not only tastes delicious, but it's convenient. Subtly sweet, moist, and with a buttery flavor, this treat out beats any other drive thru dessert for Virgos by the simple fact it's served on a stick. That means the Virgo will always have one hand free to do whatever it is they need to do, and relax with a slice of cake.

Represented by the scale, most people can understand why Libras are associated with balance and harmony — because they're obsessed with it. While it does lend well in their careers, which are almost always related to aesthetics, what most people don't know is that it runs much deeper than that. Libras seek internal balance, too, and the main way they achieve that is through their relationships with others. That's why, if they were any fast food dessert, they'd be one made in collaboration with one iconic fast food restaurant and a well-known ice cream chain: the Salt & Straw and Taco Bell choco taco.

The original Choco Tacos were pulled from store shelves for good back in 2022, but thanks to a collaboration between Salt & Straw and Taco Bell, fans were able to fill the void in another way. In 2024, the Mexican fast food chain and ice cream purveyor brought their own spin of the iconic ice cream chocolate tacos to Taco Bell. Made from hand pressed waffle cones, and filled with cinnamon ancho ice cream, these tacos are dipped in chocolate and garnished with toasted brown rice. The best part? They're also served with three different custom sauce packets along with a tangy cheesecake dip, proving that two things are much better than one.

Scorpios are known for being mysterious — which is both a blessing and a curse. While it does give these signs an undeniably attractive allure, and a simultaneously intimidating yet captivating dark and dangerous attitude, you really never know what they could be hiding behind closed doors. On the one hand, it can certainly feel exciting. But, these signs aren't liars. Just masters of secrecy. That's why, if they were any fast food dessert, they'd be one that has a secret of its own, because it's technically a secret menu item.

If the Scorpio were any fast food dessert, they'd be a Chick-fil-A ice cream float. While not found on the regular menu, that only makes these desserts all the more mysterious — and, therefore, fitting for these signs. The hack to ordering an ice cream float at Chick Fil A involves ordering a serving of vanilla soft serve and a lemonade (although it could really be executed with any soft drink you like). You can either start by drinking some of your drink, and scooping the ice cream on top, or pour your drink directly over your soft serve.

While it might get a bit messy if you're not careful, this secret menu dessert comes out tangy and refreshing. And, while these signs prefer to keep their secrets to themselves, it's a welcome one to share with a friend.

Represented by the archer, it makes sense why the Sagittarius is known as the adventurer of the zodiac. These signs live by a sort of "go big or go home" mentality, and their optimistic nature means that they tend to embrace the kind of life changes that stress the rest of us out. With that, it really only makes sense that they be a dessert from a fast food chain that embodies a similar way of life — which, obviously, means they'd be one from Taco Bell. The Mexican fast food giant has been encouraging customers to "live mas" for decades, and what better way than to order a serving of cinnamon twists to go along with your Crunch Wrap?

Even despite some of its fancier desserts, the rotini pasta shaped, cinnamon-sugar coated treats from Taco Bell are the most chain's iconic menu items. While more like a sweet, dry cereal than a churro, these desserts are unique in that they aren't too sweet — but provide just enough cinnamon spice to conjure up those south of the border flavors people flock to the chain for. Knowing the wanderlust that fuel these signs, that alone is sure to save them some air fare. But, it's also sure to keep them "living mas" — only they'll be going big and going to Taco Bell instead.

If you know a Capricorn, you know how dedicate they are to their work. These signs are obsessed with climbing the career ladder — which makes sense, seeing as they're represented by goats. Goal driven and resilient, these signs reach milestone after milestone. But, because they're such "workaholics," these signs would have to a be a dessert that they could easily grab on their way to the office. So, it's only right that they be one of the Starbucks pastries our taste testers ranked the best: the Starbucks double chocolate brownie.

Slightly dark chocolatey and slightly milk chocolatey, with a perfectly fudgey brownie texture, the double chocolate brownie is a standout Starbucks pastry. But, the best part is these signs can order one along with their coffee in the morning on their way to the office and save it for later. With one of these hiding in their desk to look forward to, they're sure to get all of their work done — although, knowing the Capricorn, that wasn't much of a question regardless. Either way, it will serve as a well-deserved reward after a long day at work or in between meetings.

Represented by the water bearer, people are usually surprised to learn that Aquariuses aren't water signs — especially with the "aqua" in their names. The truth is, Aquariuses are air signs, and the waterbearer association isn't symbolic of some inherent connection to the sea. Rather, it's much more telling of their humanitarian nature. These signs are forward thinkers, and unlike others, their ideas are always followed by action. You see, Aquariuses are determined to better the world, which is why the fast food dessert they'd be is one that's also taken steps to make a positive impact: the McDonald's McFlurry.

McDonald's updated its McFlurry cups in the fall of 2024, and they did so with sustainability in mind. The new packaging ditched the plastic lid entirely, meaning that the iconic McFlurries would forever be served in 100% recyclable containers — and considering that McDonald's is the largest fast food chain in the world, with more than 41,000 locations, ditching one plastic lid makes a much bigger difference than you might think. But, if the Aquarius were any McFlurry in particular, they'd be the Oreo McFlurry, one the most popular flavors and the one our taste testers ranked the best.

If you know a Pisces, you know these signs are so easily distracted — and not by anything externally, but by their own internal imaginations. It's why, if they were any fast food dessert, they'd have to be one that's just as imaginative as they are. So, it's only right that they be something from the Filipino, fast comfort food chain known as Jollibee. While known primarily for its extra crispy fried chicken, the dessert selections are full of imaginative flavors you don't usually see on American food menus. But it's not the halo halo that Anthony Bourdain loved (only because it hasn't been on the chain's menu for years)— instead, if the Pisces were any fast food dessert, they'd be the peach mango pie.

Jollibee's peach mango pie is the chain's own, unique, Filipino spin on the classic fried apple pies you typically get from McDonald's and Popeye's. These hand-held pockets are wrapped in thin, sweet, and flaky pastry. But, what's unique is the sweet and tart mango-peach filling inside. The combination offers a nice flavor balance that our taste testers ranked highly in their ranking of fast food desserts — going as far as to say they could change the way you think of fast food desserts completely. Seeing as Pisces' imaginations already allow them that possibility, it only makes sense that the fast food dessert they'd be offer the same opportunity to others by exposing them to some out of the box (or in this case, pastry) flavors.