Pro Tips For Maximizing Your Afternoon Tea Experience

Afternoon tea tends to be a posh affair, with some venues creating the ambiance of British high-society decor, finger foods, elegant cocktails, and pinkies-out-or-in tea manners. Sometimes, that's the whole point of attending afternoon tea: a brief escape from everyday life, or a transport to the perceived gentility of "Downton Abbey" or the gossipy gatherings of "Bridgerton." Very few people partake in the organized afternoon tea ritual on a routine basis — at least in America. In Britain, it's another story.

Having spent many English summers in my family's cafe and catering businesses, afternoon tea was, and is, very much a constant. In fact, it's a daily occurrence across the country, taking place in countless locations, from tiny seaside tea shops to classic chummy pubs, upscale London shopping venues, and prestigious hotel dining rooms. Afternoon tea can also be a low-key home affair, with invitations to "pop in for tea" from mid to late afternoon, generally between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. 

Engaging in an American version of traditional afternoon tea follows a similar track but typically as a special occasion, a gathering with friends, a mother/daughter experience, or just some self-pampering. In that vein, I booked some tea time at one of America's iconic tea-ritual venues, the Fairmont Olympic Hotel in Seattle, meeting up with a decades-long friend who's also a half-Brit by birth. While there, I got some insights on getting the most out of an afternoon tea experience, including pro tips from Fairmont's Director of Culinary, Eraj Jayawickreme. 

Though Americans in general lean more casual than formal, the typical afternoon tea experience rarely follows suit. It's a treat, likely to feature delicate fare such as crustless sandwiches, scones with jam, and finger-foods, both savory and sweet. In most venues, the server presents a single or multiple prix fixe menu options. Fairmont's culinary expert, Eraj Jayawickreme, explains the intricacies of afternoon tea by way of comparison to its fading counterpart, the British "high tea."   

It's easy to confuse the two, since the difference has blurred over time. Despite the "high" insinuating an upper-crust affair, it originated as a hearty evening meal for laborers returning home between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. with big appetites. As such, high tea "is more substantial in quantity of food," explains Jayawickreme. But the "high" has largely been dropped, he says. "Our afternoon tea service provides the same amount of food and drink, and a sit down experience that usually lasts the two hours that a classic high tea would." Keep that in mind when making later dinner plans!

But make no mistake: Tea-time food is almost universally rich but light, carefully curated and exquisitely presented. Tradition dictates service on a multi-tiered tea tray/stand, featuring various collections of cut fruits, tea cakes, custards, desserts, and savory bites on separate tiers. For example, the Fairmont Olympic Centennial tea menu, presented as part of the hotel's 100-year anniversary, included delicacies such as fresh cucumber with smoked cashew cream, lobster salad with smoky gremolata, and roasted New York striploin with green peppercorn remoulade. 

Wherever you're enjoying afternoon tea, ask about regional specialties and sourcing. Eraj Jayawickreme shares that the Fairmont Olympic Hotel's Apple Spiced Choux with custard and caramel chantilly — perching on the "dessert" level of the tea stand — was "purposely created with the Washington apple in mind, sourced from local farms." He adds, "Not everyone knows that six out of 10 apples eaten in the U.S. come from Washington — since the 1920s!"

Before sweets and savories cross your table, the experience usually begins with a selection of teas and the quintessential afternoon tea treat of scones with jam and Devonshire or English-style clotted cream. At Fairmont's tea-time in Seattle, the jam is made from marionberries, originally cultivated in its neighboring Pacific Northwestern state of Oregon. But afternoon tea in other regions likely have their own local ingredients and even different scone interpretations. Fully engage in the experience by learning about the history and nuances of the foods. To re-create an afternoon tea in your own home, ask about purchasing take-home jams, sauces, and especially tea blends unique to the area. 

Champagnes and cocktails also often appear on afternoon tea menus. They're typically optional with an additional charge, so consider whether to expand your experience in that direction. Inquire about tea-infused cocktails, which are more common than you might imagine. "We offer a full bar with tea-infused cocktails in addition to the tea menu," notes Jayawickreme, adding, "to provide a relaxing environment with friends during the day as opposed to going to the bar in the evening for drinks and appetizers."

Then there are the bottomless pots of hot tea, steeped and refilled over and over as the afternoon unfolds. Expect highly curated tea blends, sometimes exclusive to the venue, especially if it's a prestigious hotel or well-known tea room. Some teas are purposely created for seasons or events, such as Fairmont's Centennial Tea made with spices, vanilla beans, and locally sourced peppermint from the Columbia River, according to Eraj Jayawickreme.

Teapots are typically individualized per person, arriving in small decorative china or porcelain pots. My tea-time cohort opted for the Jasmine Gold Dragon, a delicate green tea infused with fragrant jasmine blossoms in peak bloom. I ventured outside my comfort zone with the Ontario Ice Wine, a bright but smooth white tea infused with Riesling ice wine. Don't be shy about asking for more tea and different varieties (as well as extra helpings of food and desserts).

With hundreds of tea rooms or afternoon tea experiences across the U.S., the nuanced offerings can be considerable. At least 40 tea rooms exist in Atlanta alone, and high-end hotel tea experiences are scattered throughout major cities, including multiple Fairmont hotels, The Biltmore in Miami, and the Four Seasons in Austin, Texas – all putting their own spin on afternoon tea. Explore types of teas outside the standard coffee-shop pours of Earl Grey, chamomile, or generic "green tea" blends. Depending on location, this is your chance to try more nuanced options such as oolong white teas (available on Amazon) or unique rooibos teas with masala or tropical spices. 

Wherever your tea adventure occurs, some things are fairly universal: Namely, the etiquette rules surrounding afternoon tea. First of all, ignore the overstated, outdated, and impractical practice of "pinky raising," in which your little pinky finger extends as you take a sip of tea. It's actually considered rude, pretentious, and snobbish by modern standards, confirmed by etiquette experts such as Emily Post and Britain's William Hanson. 

Some places are notably more relaxed than others, but Eraj Jayawickreme offers valuable guidelines for tea sipping. After allowing the tea to steep for two to five minutes, he advises to "grasp [the teacup] handle with [your] thumb and index [finger], [then put] one or two fingers of the right hand through the hole of the cup handle while balancing the cup with your thumb on the top of the handle." He adds, "Your other fingers should be curled beneath the handle." 

To pour the tea, he notes, "carefully tilt the teapot over the cup, holding it slightly above the cup to control the flow, and pour steadily until the desired amount of tea is in the cup, ensuring not to overfill and avoiding splashing. For a more refined approach, aim to pour from a fixed point on the teapot, allowing the tea to flow smoothly into the cup." Let your server guide you on the actual steeping time, as it can vary per tea variety.

Some tea gurus opine on things like when to add the milk (always second) and how to stir the tea. Protocol says to avoid a circular motion, instead sliding the spoon back and forth, as if in a clock-face glide between the numerals six and twelve. Never let the spoon clink against the side of the cup, and bring the cup to your mouth for sipping, rather than your mouth to the cup. Expected attire varies per location — but why not join the fun of dress-up in real life? In my Seattle experience, casual was more the norm, but Fairmont servers do have stories of guests showing up "dressed to the nines," including in royal-style hat couture. 

If possible, check ahead to gauge the ambiance of your chosen tea room. For example, the Fairmont Olympic afternoon tea takes place in the classically ornate hotel lobby but tucked within a library ambiance showcasing hundreds of books by authors from all walks of life. Small wooden bistro tables scatter amongst tapestried couches, leather ottomans, and retro-style curve-back chairs, punctuated by captivating sculptures, pottery, vases, and various works of art. 

Other tea venues may lean instead toward formal white-linen settings and floral-print bone-china cups. One final tip: You don't necessarily need to leave the little ones at home. Many venues provide afternoon tea offerings tailored specifically to children. "Kids can take part in the fun and get dressed up and eat chocolate chip scones, PB&J sandwiches, drink hot chocolate — and join their adult family tea," says Eraj Jayawickreme.