A Guide To Drinking Through The Trump/Clinton Debate

This unofficial Presidential Debate Drinking Game has been updated to ensure you become as intoxicated in the last Clinton/Trump debate as you did in the first.

Tonight in hallowed Hempstead Las Vegas, on the grounds of Hofstra University The University of Nevada, the two candidates for the highest office in the land will meet in combat. From behind two podia, they will issue forth salvos and zingers of varying degrees of veracity and bombast. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the first last presidential debate in an election year that could be a bellwether for democracy as we know it.

There should be a drinking game associated with this event, of course, and it is this that we hereby render. Below are the rules and guidelines set forth by the Tasting Table Commission on Presidential Debate Drinking Games (TTCOPDDG).

There are two candidates: Donald Trump representing the Republican Party, while Hillary Clinton represents the Democratic Party. Whereas this debate takes place on a Monday Wednesday evening and Tuesday Thursday is a workday, and whereas it seems only fair a mechanism by which an engaged political viewer can become equally but reasonably intoxicated no matter for whom he or she is voting, we recommend the following instructions.

For every half-truth, outright lie, outrageous statement or incendiary bit of race-baiting rhetoric uttered from the candidates, let the viewer drink one swig of an alcoholic beverage. (A recent study found a swig, also known as a swallow, is 21 milliliters for men and 14 for women.)

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For those who align their drinking trigger mechanism with Trump, it is our strong recommendation that said alcoholic beverage be of a relatively low alcohol by volume. Our preference in this matter is to purchase, or otherwise obtain by any means not illicit, America, an American lager formerly known as Budweiser. America has a 5 percent ABV. It is a popular beverage that appeals to a nostalgic sense of an America that once was.

For those who align their drinking trigger mechanism with Clinton, we suggest a digestif along the lines of pastis. Pastis is an anise-flavored liqueur. It is strong, with a 40 to 45 percent ABV, and bracing. Critics of the drink—of which there are many—find its flavor distasteful. In addition, many have voiced concern that the drink, especially when diluted with water, is opaque. This lack of transparency is, in part, responsible for the liqueur's low approval ratings in the United States. Abroad, particularly in the European Union, pastis is much more popular.

Whoever manages to end the night with the lowest blood alcohol level is the winner of the debate drinking game (bonus points for bringing snacks).

*TTCOPDDG is officially a nonpartisan organization that encourages you (no matter your politics) to get out there and vote.