17 Robert Irvine FitCrunch Protein Bar Flavors, Ranked Worst To Best

Protein bars — whether you love them or hate them, they're not going anywhere anytime soon. These convenient sources of macronutrients are easy to pack in a gym bag for after a workout or stuff into your purse for when your meetings run a little longer than you'd expect them to. As a seven-day-a-week gym-goer myself, I've indulged in my fair share of protein bars over the years. And if I can tell you one thing, it's that people don't eat them because of how they taste. These bars tend to have a mealy texture and artificial flavor, and are just overwhelmingly unpleasant. 

But, if anyone can turn anything around for the better, whether it's a restaurant or a protein bar, it's Robert Irvine. The star of "Restaurant: Impossible" also has his own line of protein bars under the FitCrunch label. These bars and treats come in an array of styles, including cookies, traditional and wafer bars, and brownies, designed to help you fuel up at any time of day. I sampled each of Robert Irvine's FitCrunch bars and ranked them on several factors, including flavor, texture, and overall eating experience. 

Some recommendations are based on firsthand impressions of promotional materials and products provided by the manufacturer.

When I first opened this bar, I could immediately sense that this whimsically colored, pastel pink protein bar was a play on a strawberry shortcake ice cream novelty. The strawberry odor was so intoxicating (and not in a good way) that you could smell it from a mile away. When I bit into this bar, though, I lost the strawberry flavor almost immediately. If anything, it wasn't candy-like strawberry. Instead, it was chalky — like powdered strawberry milk. There was also a unique layer of cream on top of the Rice Krispies treat-like base, which gave this bar a soft bite — and one that was positively gag-able. 

This chalky residue stuck around in my mouth for what seemed like hours after tasting this bar. I admit I don't like strawberry-flavored things, and I was dreading biting into this bar. I've done a lot of taste testing in my short life, but this was one of the worst. 

There are so many bad ideas out there. But putting lemon, which tastes artificial in nearly every food it's used in, into a protein bar? It's like FitCrunch was setting itself up for failure. 

I wish that I could say the lemon cake bar was the underdog that won the race of the century. But, this bar was downright awful. Even its color screams "Hazard ahead: Don't eat me!" Though, I really only had an issue with this bar after I bit into it, as the aroma itself wasn't very telling. I expected it to smell like lemon Pledge, but it kind of smelled more like burning rubber. The bar itself wasn't sweet or tart; it was almost bitter. 

Even then, I still didn't get the lemon that I was anticipating — which I suppose was a blessing. I didn't gag on this bar immediately like I did with the strawberry strudel one, which earns it a spot near, but not on, the bottom.

If you wanted to hide the fact that you're eating a protein bar, you might opt for one of these protein cookies instead. But after trying one, you might want to think that idea over again. 

Let's be real here: There's no mistaking the chocolate deluxe cookie, which contains both marshmallows and candy pieces, for a classic M&M-studded treat. The shape alone should have given it away — since these are more brownie-shaped than anything. The aroma is certainly chocolatey, and this bar is nothing short of a saccharine-driven rush. Honestly, there was more of a lingering sweet taste in my mouth with this bar than with a plain, non-protein chocolate cookie — and that's saying something. 

There are no marshmallows in this bar — I'm convinced of it. The only possible trace is a layer of something gooey and wet in the center.

I was initially confused by the packaging of the milk and cookies bar because it almost seemed like a play on Little Debbie's zebra cakes. But, when I pulled this bar out of the package, I immediately noticed that it resembled a zebra cake that had been left out in the summer heat for too long; it was smeared with the candy coating and looked rather unpleasant. 

I honestly have no clue what this bar was trying to get at flavor-wise. It had a bitter and licorice-like undertone, kind of like the brownies and cookies that I sampled from this brand. If it wasn't black and white in color, I never would have even guessed that it was a cookies and cream bar. The flavor wasn't as putrid as some of the lowest-ranked selections, but it was one bar that I confidently took a bite of and audibly said, "No, thank you." And that's a lot coming from someone who is obsessed with cookies and cream ice cream.

FitCrunch yet again is setting itself up for the impossible task of trying to distill the flavors of a complex dessert (this time, an autumnal apple pie) into a 1.62-ounce protein bar. But, I still had to give it a chance. 

This bar smelled like apple pie ice cream rather than a freshly baked pie that you just pulled out of the oven. It has that cloying aroma that lets you know it's artificially flavored, and this is translated fully into the bar. I noticed that it left a syrupy feeling in my mouth, along with a strong wave of cinnamon and nutmeg. The sweetness was overpowering, which kept it out of the top of this ranking.

I do give FitCrunch some credit, as there is some apple flavor there. But it's all synthetic. I would have appreciated a handful of dried apple pieces thrown in there for texture and to make this flavor a little more believable. 

I can appreciate a delicious cinnamon roll from time to time. But as a protein bar? I was skeptical from the beginning — to say the least. 

This bar certainly smelled like a batch of cinnamon rolls. But you know what it also smelled like? The FitCrunch apple pie bar — to a T. It was like the brand just swapped the coating on the outside of the bar, changed the label, and went on with its day. The apple pie bar may have leaned slightly more floral than this one, but I assume it was because I was, in fact, searching for the apple in that bar.

The cinnamon in this bar was equally as oppressive as in the apple pie bar. But, I could pull out more white chocolate notes from this one, which were somewhat pleasant. But, it pushed this bar to a whole nother level of cloying. 

I don't like mint chocolate chip anything: Sue me. So, when I saw that this lineup featured two types of mint chocolate chip bars and mint chip-studded brownie, my stomach sank. Mint chocolate chip ice cream is toothpaste-tasting enough — do we really need three more products that put this flavor center-stage? 

The first one I sampled out of the patch was the mint chocolate chip bar. When I opened the packaging, I smelled it immediately: Crest toothpaste. But the worst part about it was that when I bit in, I felt the creamy layer on top of the bar squish onto my tongue like a tube of it. I couldn't help but recoil. 

Otherwise, this bar wasn't as bad as the other selections. The minty flavor was mild yet still present, and I didn't get as much of a profound synthetic aftertaste. But, the texture was positively dreadful. 

I was relatively hopeful that FitCrunch's mint chocolate wafer bar would solve the toothpaste issue that I encountered with its similarly flavored baked bar. And I can confidently report that there was not a tube of Crest in sight when it came to this selection — at least in terms of texture. The mint flavor was hiding in the background of this bar. If anything, it came off as slightly bitter and anise-like rather than sweet.

The main issue that I faced with this bar was not the mint itself. I felt that this bar had too much wafer in it. When the flaky layer hit my teeth, it turned to mush — not unlike a communion wafer. I chalk this up to an imbalanced ratio of mint filling to wafer. It's not something I experienced with the other wafer bar in this roundup, which sent the mint chocolate chip bar tumbling down the ranking. 

I've never, in my life, found a need to purchase mint chips. So, I suspected from the beginning that this loaded cookie bar was going to place low on my list. But, after trying a bite and finding the light shiver of mint that graced my palate, I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised. Thankfully, I didn't have the same oozy toothpaste experience like I had with mint chocolate chip bar. Overall, I felt that the mint in this "cookie" (again, it's a brownie) was just light enough to be pleasant and not too artificial. 

Rather, the issue with this product was the "cookie" itself. It was dry and just plain bad. The chocolate deluxe cookie has the distracting texture of the faux marshmallows, while the mint chocolate chip loaded cookie couldn't hide a mealy base behind a slim handful of mint chips. 

I am down for anything cookie dough. But, I don't know if this cookie dough-flavored protein bar would really satisfy my craving for that buttery, toffee-like flavor that I adore. The crunchiness of this bar was rather distracting; it was almost like I was biting into a Rice Krispies treat rather than a spoonful of edible cookie dough that I snuck from the kitchen. But, this bar did hit that brown sugar flavor note that I was searching for, though it wasn't as bold as some of the brand's other flavors. Overall, there wasn't anything special going on with this bar — which isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

The one thing I will commend this bar for, though, is balancing out the flavor of chocolate with the butteriness of the bar. It was able to really mesh these dueling flavors together quite well, which earns it some brownie (cookie) points in this race. 

I'm all for the nostalgia of trying to remix a Little Debbie's cosmic brownie into a protein-packed treat. These little brownies promise candy pieces along with a soft brownie base. And if Robert Irvine's FitCrunch could sell me on a good-for-you-ish brownie, then all the power to them. 

This was one of the few bars from FitCrunch that could have passed as somewhat of a normal "brownie." It was rich and chocolatey, but what clearly set it apart from all the brownies I've loved before was that synthetic, artificial sweetener aftertaste. The texture was also very thick and dry, almost like someone had over-baked regular brownie batter and covered it in chocolate to hide it. The distribution of the candy pieces was also poor; the nuggets sloshed off to the sides rather than studding the entire top of the brownie. 

I like chocolate, and I like peanut butter, so I couldn't think of a reason for why I wouldn't like Robert Irvine FitCrunch's chocolate peanut butter bar. This bar, in short, tasted more like a dessert than a protein bar. The chocolate and peanut butter duo, along with a saccharine-esque aftertaste, wasn't something I could shake with a simple drink of water. If you love peanut butter cups and all things sugary, it's a great bar for you. I, however, would have liked to see a saltier peanut butter to balance out the cloyingness. 

Unfortunately, the texture of this bar also was a major setback — but its mealiness was something I was used to by this time in the ranking. Luckily, there was another peanut buttery product to be tried, and thankfully, it leaves this peanuty bar in the rearview mirror.

I have to give FitCrunch some credit on this one. The bar itself actually smelled like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When I pulled it out of the packaging, I found that it had a beautiful, peanut buttery sheen and a smell that really reeled me in. 

The peanut butter in this bar was the star, for sure. It did its job in offering a savory complement to the layer of sweet grape "jelly" inside. Although this wasn't really as jelly-ish as I would've liked; it was much pastier than I hoped it'd be. I think if the brand used an actual grape jelly instead, it would have had a less synthetic flavor than whatever grape-ish concoction was inside of this bar. Despite this flaw, I appreciated how balanced the grape was with the peanut butter — since artificial grape can be rather medicinal. 

Whenever I think of brownies, I think of all things chocolatey and molten. And despite the poor experiences I had thus far in this tasting, I had high hopes for the FitCrunch chocolate brownie bar. While the brand's dipped brownie was far too dry and thick, I suspected from the start that FitCrunch would be able to master a thinner brownie layer and crunchy coating with this product — and I was right. The bar had the best texture I had tasted thus far in the ranking.

While there was no structural or flavor issues with this chocolate brownie protein bar, it's not one that I could foresee myself coming back to finish. The chocolate flavor is overwhelming and cloying on the palate (kind of like a real brownie). I could see myself taking a couple more bites before tossing it in the trash. It's better than the FitCrunch cookies and brownies by a long-shot, but it's not the brand's most flavor-balanced option. 

By this point in the ranking, I just wanted a bar with texture. The marshmallow-studded loaded "cookie" one was a flop, while the peanut butter and jelly bar lacked anything reminiscent of actual jelly. So, maybe FitCrunch would finally get the memo and add something that helped distract from the mealiness of its baked bars. 

I made a mistake in getting my hopes up for the caramel peanut bar. There was only one nut in the entire bar, which was seemingly set as its own separate layer. I also didn't pick up on sticky caramel and assumed it was just intertwined into the whey bar base. But, the caramel flavor was definitely prominent and toffee-forward. The sweetness was rather cloying, but it was leaps and bounds above the subtly bitter chocolate that I noticed with the other brands. Overall, this was not a bad protein bar — it's just one that I wouldn't eat before 7 a.m. And more nuts, please. 

Coconut and chocolate are a good flavor combination — just look at Mounds candies. So, it makes sense that FitCrunch would try to emulate that same flavor with its chocolate coconut almond bar. The aroma of this bar is definitely potent and strong, but its flavor is anything but. Coconut-flavored items, especially ones made with synthetic flavorings, tend to taste artificial. But, I found the coconut flavor in this bar to be rather shivery and soft — which was a welcomed sensation after I had weaseled my way through FitCrunch's strawberry strudel and lemon cake bars.

The main issue I have with this bar is that the coconut flavor seemed to overshadow the chocolate. Rather than getting an even balance of the two, I was met with 90% coconut and 10% chocolate. I also wished that this bar came in a wafer version rather than the classic baked bar because the mealiness was distracting. 

If there was a FitCrunch bar that I expected to come out on top, it would be the chocolate peanut butter wafer bar. I have fond memories of eating Nutty Buddys as a kid, and honestly, eating this protein bar was kind of like a blast from the past. The crunchy, wafer layers were perfectly crisp and the ratio of peanut butter to chocolate was positively exquisite. Every bite is perfectly balanced; the peanut butter lingers on your tongue, and the chocolate nestles right in next to it. 

I also appreciated that this bar wasn't knock-you-off-your-feet sweet, and it's one that I would consider eating following a morning workout. Overall, I found very little that this bar could improve on, which earned it the top spot in this ranking. 

I went into this ranking with the idea that people don't eat protein bars because they like the taste of them (because then they would just eat a regular brownie or a cookie, right?). So, I looked for the product that had the least amount of faults overall, rather than the one that tasted the best. 

For a bar to be ranked high on this list, it had to have a flavor that wasn't too artificial or saccharine. A bar with a balanced flavor was ideal because then someone could theoretically eat it after a morning workout or as a replacement for breakfast on a busy morning. I also compared the texture of each bar. A good protein bar should have a pleasant texture, rather than one that's spongy or mealy.