19 Non-Chocolate Valentine's Day Candies, Ranked

Valentine's Day is a holiday associated with chocolates – and if you don't like this type of candy, you may feel like an outcast. While there is no shortage of Valentine's Day chocolates, there are also more non-chocolate options than you may think, from staples like conversation hearts to a plethora of gummy candies in every shape and size. 

I sampled some of the non-chocolate selections from my local Walmart to see which items were worth buying and gifting to your sweetheart. Overall, I looked for a candy that had some sort of connection to the holiday (be it color, design, or something else) and a balanced, likable flavor. See which candy I fell in love with at first bite. 

It isn't a proper candy ranking unless I have to spit at least one candy out. And today, it was Great Value's turn. 

These candies are ones that you would find shoved into a glass container on your grandma's coffee table. As a kid, you think that they're going to be good because they're colorful and coated in sugar, but it's a wake-up call when you bite in. These candies were so syrupy, sweet, and fake-tasting that I had to run to the trash can to spit it out. The texture also wasn't chewy, but it wasn't soft, either. The sugar did nothing to help the texture of the candy, and I was ultimately left in shock that a "candy" could taste this bad.

This is certainly more of a gag gift than anything. Oh, and gag is right. This Spongebob Squarepants-themed gummy skewer smells like the inside of Yankee Candle, where all odors merge together into a noxious cloud. Biting through the candy is like eating a piece of beef jerky. It's toothsome and hurts your jaw. 

Moreover, there was no discernible flavor to set each layer apart from the other; they all melded into one. Honestly, it tastes just like it smells — which makes it a shoo-in for near last place. The only saving grace was that I didn't have to spit it out. 

Who are these candy bracelets made for? Ants? I couldn't get it around two of my fingers without the string breaking.

The most logical way to eat this candy is to gnaw off the pieces like a deranged animal trying to get its paw out of a snare. When you do bite off a piece (and come close to breaking your teeth in the process), you're met with nothing but sugar — no fruit, no flavor, no nothing — just Pixy Stix powder with the consistency of a brick. While not unpalatable, it's not worth breaking your teeth over.

The next novelty candy on this list is something that you'll want to skip, too. Initially, I thought this candy was like a Ring Pop, so I licked the plastic lips thinking they were the candy before I discovered that the underside was the lollipop ... awkward. But honestly, the plastic red lips tasted the exact same as the lollipop underneath, so I wasn't missing out on much. 

I can't tell what flavor was supposed to be here, because all it tastes like is sweet. There's no complexity or flavor there besides the sugar, which makes it an unpleasant and boring candy to eat. It's not as bad and gag-worthy as the lower-ranked brands, but it's definitely not great. 

Nothing says be my Valentine like "Airguhe" — or whatever these conversation hearts were supposed to say. I sure as heck couldn't read them. 

I had to dig around for several minutes before I could find a conversation heart that spelled a discernible word, which defeats the purpose of eating these chalky candies in the first place. Their flavor wasn't anything particularly tasty, though I didn't find them as unpalatable as the lowest-ranked candies. They are sweet, first and foremost, and I thought they lacked any flavor besides just being sugar cubes. Once they dissolved, I could pick up on some sweet, fruity undertones, but all the candy colors seem to meld together into one hot mess. Now that I think of it, "hot mess" seems like a good thing to print on these candies. 

Lifesavers was one of two brands that I sampled that really drove home the whole Valentine's Day candy box. One Valentine's Day box of these snacks contains several smaller, individual bags — which is ideal because this candy gets stale — fast. 

I don't think I could stomach more than one or two of these candies. The berry flavor here was strong, and the sickeningly sweet candies, shaped into Xs and Os, were perfectly chewy. But, I really only got a berry-esque flavor rather than something specifically blueberry, strawberry, or something in between. While these candies were great for a game of tic-tac-toe, they weren't something that you could eat a whole box of in a single sitting on account of their sweetness. 

I'm not a big sour candy person, so Warheads were't always on my radar. Each package of Ooze Chewz Ropes contains three flavors: black cherry, watermelon, and strawberry. The outside has the consistency of a Sour Patch Kids, while the inside is supposed to be gooey — like the inside of a Gushers.

Aren't Warheads supposed to be, like, super, super sour? This candy reminded me more of the Sour Punch Straws I grew up eating at summer camp. They weren't overwhelmingly sour, and I would say that they were no more sour than Sour Patch Kids, which was a bit of a letdown. The inside also didn't really "ooze" from the candy, as its consistency was the same as the outside. 

The three distinct flavors aren't developed enough to set them apart from one another, so the flavor got old quickly. While they were still more satisfying than candies like Lifesavers Gummies, thanks to the sour aspect, they weren't a candy I absolutely loved. 

Strawberry Twizzlers are one of my favorite candies ever, but the cherry flavor certainly isn't. Twizzlers essentially took a cherry Twizzler and cut it up into small, heart-shaped pieces that look more like plastic than a food product. They're very uniform, which is something that not all of the conversation hearts brands had to offer. It's a pro and a con, though, because these honestly look too fake to be edible. 

The aroma of these candies is overwhelmingly sweet and medicinal. It's like someone stirred together cherry cough syrup and accidentally dropped in a bag of sugar. They're cutesy and kitsch, but they lack enough genuine cherry flavor to be palatable. Also, they stick to your teeth and don't easily come off; dentists and those with braces beware. 

I want to know what Brach's considers "tiny" about these conversation hearts; they weren't any smaller than the other conversation heart selections on this list. In fact, they were larger than the Sweethearts candy. However, they are still better than Sweethearts because they are printed better. 

The candies were solid and hard, though they were brimming with fruity flavor. My favorite was the wintergreen candies, though I didn't find much wrong with the other flavors, either. Once the candy softened in my mouth, I was able to crunch through it before it crumbled on my taste buds. I could have sworn these candies were more unpleasant when I was a kid, but I can't see myself willingly buying a bag of these candies during the Valentine's season because they offer no complexity besides "sweet." 

Dots are less of a "grandma candy" than the Great Value cherry drops that I sampled — but not by much. This Valentine's Day iteration of the candy contains just cherry candies, which is great, because who needs strawberry and watermelon when you have the best flavor of them all in one box? 

The candy in this Dots container was plentiful. But the texture here leaves a lot to be desired. It isn't really chewy, and it isn't really spongy. It's like biting into a piece of hard jelly. Surprisingly, it was more sticky than the Twizzlers and stuck to my teeth even more. Its flavor was cherry-forward, but it wasn't as medicinal as the Twizzlers, which earned it a spot above this ranking. Granted, I've never met someone who willingly eats Dots, and there are just so many other better candies out there. 

Haribo is a brand that any candy-phile is familiar with. While some people like the usual Berry Cloud iteration of this candy, I'm not really a member of that camp. The candies are coated in an inverted sugar-esque substance, but they aren't at all sour. The gummy candy itself is almost marshmallowy and creamy, which, while it complements the excellent berry flavor, makes it a whole lot to chew. And chewing is something that you will be doing a lot when you eat this candy. At least the fruit flavor here is genuine, which isn't something the lower-ranked candies can all say. 

I think part of the issue here is that these berry hearts are too big. If they were half the size, they would stand a chance in this ranking. But as it stands, I'm confused by their texture and invert-sugar-but-not-really coating. 

I've determined that Haribo needs to get a better understanding of the phrase "size matters" — at least when it comes to candy. Its sweet and sour hearts have the same issue as the brand's berry hearts: They're too big. While a small gummy bear would be easy to get through, these hearts will make your jaw sore in a matter of minutes. It's not any more chewy than a gummy bear, but the sheer size magnifies the work you have to do to get through them.

I have to give Haribo some credit here, though, as the strawberry flavor of these hearts was more enjoyable than the other candies I sampled. The sour hearts didn't need any invert sugar to be sour, and they perfectly complemented the sweet strawberry candies that were in the same package. The flavor was balanced and bright, which is something that Haribo does well in all of its candies. But, I mean it when I say that bigger is not always better. 

On to my highest-rated conversation heart: SweeTarts. This brand is known for bringing home the tartness, and it certainly does so with its riff on a classic Valentine's Day candy. The candies themselves are much larger than the normal conversation heart size, which sent me for a little bit of a loop at first. I don't particularly like conversation hearts to begin with, and more candy just seemed like a bigger problem. 

But, I was pleasantly surprised by this candy. While the normal conversation hearts are chalk-like, these boasted a slightly softer mouthfeel. For the best texture, I would recommend letting them sit and soften in your mouth rather than crunching into them — as they still have the consistency of Smarties. However, the big reason why these candies placed ahead of the other sugary conversation hearts selections was because the words were etched into the hearts (so you could actually read them), and the sour, tangy flavor was perfectly balanced against the sweetness of the candy. 

Black Forest candies may seem a little too "healthy" to be considered a candy, but they were indeed hanging out in the candy aisle with all the other flavors — so here they are. These fruit juice-sweetened candies come in a massive box with 22 pouches — perfect for distributing to a whole classroom. 

The bags supposedly contain cherry, strawberry, and watermelon-flavored hearts, but I got 80% cherry in the bag I sampled, along with a couple of watermelon candies that, much to my enjoyment, tasted like watermelon Jolly Ranchers. But, the small portion of strawberry candies just tasted like cherry, too — so why bother putting an array in every bag? 

Overall, this candy was what I would consider average. It had the shape and the festiveness of being a fun Valentine's Day candy, but I wished there was a better ratio of flavors in every bag. Granted, it was one candy I did eat the whole bag of, so it was far from awful. 

Sour Patch Kids are the candy that I resort to eating when I'm away at a horse show for a weekend. They're just so satisfying to eat, and there's a childlike nostalgia of chowing down on a handful as I'm getting ready to go into the show pen or when I'm closing out a long day. 

Eating these heart-shaped candies really brought me back to those moments. I would say that this candy tastes exactly like the sour watermelon version that's available all year round. However, these hearts are slightly larger in size. I didn't run into the same issue as the Haribo berry hearts or sweet and sour candies, though, as these Sour Patch Kids were still small enough and not overtly chewy. Besides their shape, there isn't much to make them a different candy than the sour watermelon variety, which was a tad disappointing. And, Sour Patch Kids had a trick up its sleeve with a different candy selection. 

The Sour Patch Kids sour hearts are the candy that you get for an angsty teen who claims they're "too old" to get Valentine's Day gifts from their parents. This packaging is hardcore, and I was really drawn to its black color amid a sea of pinks in the grocery store candy aisle.

This candy introduces a new flavor to the scene: black raspberry. While the Sour Patch Kids hearts opted to be safe and just switch up the shape of the sour watermelon candy, this box went bold with black raspberry. When I expected "black raspberry," I was thinking of the ice cream flavor — not what was inside of this box. Their dark color suggests that they would be grape flavor, but the actual profile of the candy is more like a cross between blueberry and grape. So, "black raspberry" was a teensy bit of a stretch. 

But, the fact that Sour Patch Kids tried something new with its candy was a giant step for the brand. I would buy these off of looks alone and could see myself enjoying them — but not because their flavor was on par with the label. 

Why have no other brands caught on to the resealable bag idea? It was a smart move on Trolli's part that folks without a dedicated sweet tooth, like myself, can appreciate. 

Trolli essentially converted its Sour Brite Crawlers concept into a thick, gummy heart. These candies are quite thick, more so than either of the Sour Patch Kids, any of the Haribo candies, or the Lifesavers Gummies. As a result, they get a little tedious to chew through. The sour gummy worms from the brand are a much more well-thought-out candy in terms of shape. But, in terms of flavor, Trolli really knows a thing or two. Its package doesn't contain Valentine's-specific flavors, so you get the whole gambit, from lemon and orange to grape and lime. The sourness balances out the refreshing sweetness, in turn making this candy a satisfying one to indulge in. 

There are some people out there who absolutely love gummy bears. While I am not one of those people, I can pick up what Haribo is putting down — because these are some of the best gummy bears I've ever eaten. This package of pineapple and raspberry bears is fruit-forward and light in a way that not a lot of candies are. Each piece is almost borderline tart, which makes it much easier to eat more than one in a single sitting. From a flavor perspective, these Goldbears win by a long shot. 

Haribo's Goldbears are toothsome and require a little bit of molar action, but the cloying flavor doesn't stick around like it did for the lower-ranked candies on this list. This texture, compounded by their small size, made them an easily snackable candy. If you love gummy candy and got a package of these on Valentine's Day from your sweetheart, I highly doubt that you would be disappointed. But, they just didn't have the same textural pop as my top pick. 

Nerds? What an awful candy; who likes eating pebble-sized, crunchy chalk? But Nerds gummy clusters? You've got me there. 

These gummy clusters, which are adorned with a coating of red, white, and pink Nerds candies, are essentially the perfect bite. The flavor is strawberry enough to differentiate it from the standard gummy cluster and add a seasonal spin to it, while its small size is the perfect excuse to eat a handful at a time. Plus, Nerds gummy clusters offer what many other candies on this list couldn't: the perfect synergy of crunchy and gummy. This textural diversity kept things interesting.

Even though I had so many other candies to get through, I wanted to come back to this candy again and again. If someone got me a box of these for Valentine's Day, I would be their Valentine forever. 

As I sampled my way through these candies, I considered three major factors: taste, texture, and seasonality. Valentine's candies should, first and foremost. be tied back to the holiday. They should also have a balanced, approachable flavor that is more than just gimmicky. I also looked for a texture that sent me back for another bite, and I placed candies that were too chewy, chalky, or unappealing on the low end of the ranking.